For the past few months, this blog has served more as a public diary than anything else and it's funny because I don't consider myself someone who is super personal with random people. I guess you aren't random if you're reading this because no one but my friends and family know who Suga Jones is...so scratch that. I guess I am trying to convey that I am not usually one of those girls who is super emotional or allows everyone into her thoughts and feelings without question.
The reason for all of this added personal insight has been a deep yearning for my life and my self to change, dating back about two or more years. I kind of stalled. Not like the impressive wall stalls that Dave so coolly tries to implement daily but more like the-engine-died-and-you're-stuck-in-the-mud kind of stall. I'm not gonna lie. It's been a pretty rough go the last couple of years. In a sense I have been searching for peace, direction, a challenge, and change, which are all pretty elusive.
Lately though I am feeling/seeing the pieces of the puzzle slowly starting to form the vague shape of the the life I want. I have an extraordinary boyfriend, an amazing group of friends and coworkers, and a strong family. I am starting on a new journey in faith, which is exhilarating and a little scary. It's like a light has been shined before my eyes allowing me to see that my desire for a thrilling journey can and will be met. Sometimes, I feel like I am in "survivor mode" and can't even imagine my future life as if I were in a cave of darkness. Not this time. The darkness is lifting. And I'm ready.
2 comments:
Chelsea, last time I tried to leave a mssg it never happened.....may this time as well but i will try. loved reading your thoughts and loved being able to share thoughts together in june. we are on our way to new zealand tomorrow...to bring "the fij" home. can't wait.
all the best and hope to see you soon. luce.
wow, what a great feeling. so happy that you are happy!
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